Last but not least.

This is the last week of the semester. For our last assignment, we had to make a list of ten things that we learned and that we thought that we needed to remember from the semester. For this last blog post, I wanted to share just a few of these things that I thought that I needed to remember. These four little snapshots or concepts of this whole semester I think are some of the most important things that I learned this semester. I learn a lot and I am changed and I am so excited that I got to take this class. I highly recommend this class because it teaches some great concepts for the family and how the family is great, and I have loved every minute of this class.  This blog has been so fun, and I hope to add more to this blog as I have a future family. Family is so important and one of the best things on earth.

Go on dates at least three times a month.

              This concept was introduced early on in this semester. I grabbed onto this concept like it was the last thing on earth I have really love this idea of at minimum three dates a month. this really gives time for the mom and dad or husband and wife to really connect with each other instead of other things getting in the way. this gives the couple time to really work on some of these other things that I am about to talk about. it is a time where they get to be just the two of them kids not being in love is not the grandparents, not their friends it is just the husband and wife the real important stuff in the relationship.

Boundaries

              This concept refers to the boundaries and how hard it is to establish clear and defined boundaries in this class. we really want boundaries to be like the very nice white picket fence around the house we want it to be enough boundaries that other people cannot come in and strong enough boundaries where the people inside can have enough communication to effectively work. if we have a barbed wire fence and cement walls as boundaries then the communication is not great in laws to get pushed away and nobody gets loaded. on the other hand, if everything is open and free and there is no fence around the house everybody can get in and everybody knows everything about you. but if you have a fence a very nice welcoming fence around the house people can learn things about you and not know things that they are not supposed to me, think boundaries are so effective in a great relationship.

Communication is key.

              Communicating is hard. lots of times especially when we are young, we are told to be quiet and not listen to anything and be this kind of silent shareholder in this relationship. We need to learn how to communicate, especially with our significant other communication is hard and it is a hard skill to learn but when we have clearly defined boundaries, and we are communicating all the time communication becomes easier. In marriage but in a courtship or dating when we are willing to talk and establish a small relationship with somebody, things are better. this not only works for intimate relationships but group projects in school, work environments, and any other communication that we need to have in our lives.

Family and its many characters.

Families come in many different shapes sizes and colors. And the one thing we do know about family is its hard work and it does not come easy. there are certain roles in a family then people need to follow or fall under. there are always going to be parents and there are going to be children and they each have their own roles and jobs in a family. parents are there to protect and provide and preside over their family their children and their significant other. the children's job is to be there for the parents to learn from families come in all different shapes and sizes but ultimately everybody finds their place and their job so that the family can run smoothly. does not matter how big or how small the family is everybody finds their roles and it does their job.

The power and challenge of parenting

Our semester is ending, and we only have a couple more classes left. But nevertheless, here is a conversation about parenting. This week we talked about parenting I was not super excited to talk about parenting this week because I have taken some different classes on parenting, and it is always the same thing. But this week we talked about a different parenting approach. We talked about a parenting approach from Michael Popkin. Popkin’s approach is a complete 180 from what most people use when they are parenting. He looks at the child’s needs instead of what the parent does and how the parent is involved with the children. I think this gets lost when we talk about parenting. If you have ever taken a parenting class, you know the four parenting styles. Authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and indifferent. I do not really love these because it puts parents in a box, and it feels like they just get to live in their designated box and that is your parenting style. I am not a fan of this, but after we talked and learned about the Popkins approach to parenting, I have found a new way of parenting.

Popkin's approach has three columns when we are talking about parenting. The first one is the child’s or teens mistaken approach and the second was child’s needs and the third is the parents’ approach. If there is one thing that you could take away from this blog is the child’s needs. Popkin talks about 5 things that children need. they are contact and belonging, power, protect, withdrawal and challenge. The one thing we need to do to help our children is the power and the challenging aspects of parenting.  

the first need that we talked about in class was contacted. not only physical contact like handshaking and Pats on the back but also emotional contact having long conversations about what they want and what they need is important for them to feel like they belong in this world. it is hard for kids to understand that they have this need they do not have the vocabulary big enough 2 shares with their parents what they need. so that is our job as parents to understand what I need looks like. children need lots of hugs and lots of time with their parents’ handshakes fist bumps and Pats on the back are great for children who are struggling with some contact needs. the next need we talked about was power now if you have ever seen a 3-year-old tried to do whatever they are doing by themselves you will understand the need for power. 3-year-old are the perfect age for understanding that they need power and control from their parents. they want to put their shoes and socks on they want to pick out their shirt they want to have all the power that they can have. we also talked about protection and how we as parents need to protect them but also provide the proper action so that they can protect themselves such as speaking up for themselves and nicely asserting themselves. then we talked about withdrawing and withdrawing some of your power as a parent. letting them make choices and letting them understand the consequences that their actions are taking. and finally, the last aspect of a need his challenge. everybody needs a challenge occasionally we are challenged to read a book, complete an assignment or be the best on the football team we always need a challenge, especially children.

We need to understand what we are looking for and how we can help our children understand a need from want so that they can communicate better when they are old enough and that they can independently get what they need. I really love this approach to parenting just because it is different from anything that I have ever heard of. I think it is easier to understand than the four parenting styles that everybody teaches. this approach is a great way for parents and children to understand the relationship that they can have with one another.

Fathers in the home

         This week we talked about fathers and their roles in the home. We talked a lot about how important a father is in the home. Form research and the information presented on fatherhood.gov and fatherhood.org fathers are so important for a child’s development and a family’s success. These websites have tons of information on how important the father is for the children and family.

I am so excited this week to talk about my dad and my grandfathers as well. My parents were really lucky to have both parents in the home all of the time. My dad has always been involved in my growing up and in my life. I think my dad got to start his parenting journey off right by having a girl first I stole his heart and have never let it go. My dad has always been loving and involved in whatever I do. I was a typical girl and loved to be in dance and play with girly toys. I always remember my dad being there for every dance recital. He is the most amazing dad for a girl like me. now that changed a short 2 years later when my little brother was born. He was excited for me to have a little buddy to play with.

My little brother is just 2 years younger than me, and we are the best of friends. My dad always reminds me that when they brought him home from the hospital, I told my parents “To put him down I want to play with him” and they will never let that down. five years later my younger brother was born, and he is the one that my dad wanted. He plays sports, loves trucks and cars, wants to be outside, and loves to be with our family. I think all three of us won the lottery in the father's department. He is so involved and loves to hang out with us and is always willing to help my mother with us when we need it. one of the best things that I have received from my dad is my and my siblings' red hair. My dad had red hair and somehow all three of his children have red hair.

My dad got his red hair from his side of the family. sadly, this past year we lost my grandfather to the COVID-19 virus. But we learned a lot from my grandpa! I always remembered my grandpa working. over these past few months, I learned that at one point he had four part-time jobs just trying to provide for his family. now my grandpa was not the type of guy that would just sit and relax and just enjoy his time he was always doing something working on some sort of project. I learned that he worked at a motorcycle shop just so that he could have enough money at a discounted price to repair his motorcycle. he also worked at the county jail and did that for many years. the last job that I remember him having was working as a lab tech for a company here in Idaho. my grandpa was in the military and was a lab tech in the military for a couple of years before he was discharged and was allowed to move back to his hometown. they lived in Utah for many years built a couple houses and then slowly found their way to Idaho where my parents met and fell in love and started a family.

On both said to my family on my mom's side and my dad's side, my grandfathers worked very hard for what they provided for their children. my mom's dad was still working up until six months before he passed away, and when he was still here, we always teased him that if he weren’t working, he would pass away because that is just what he did. when he got sick the first time, we decided to change one of their bedrooms into an office for him so that he had a dedicated space for him to work. He was a very hard worker and worked for three different companies and worked for at least 15 years at each company.

fathers are vital to a family structure because they help protect provide and preside over the wife the children and if they are lucky grandchildren. Fathers bring a structure and strength to the family that nobody else can do. fathers are so important they help keep the family together and it helps their wives and mothers lean on somebody when times get tough. the father in the family structure is one of the most important parts of a family.

This is one of my favorite family photos with my dad, mom, and brothers.